American Idol: Simon Gives Paula A Moustache

You know how there's a trillion pictures on the internet of passed out drunk whores whose friends think it will be really hilarious to graffiti all over their face and shit? Well, that's what Simon Cowell did to Paula Abdul on American Idol last night. Only her eyes were open. Yeah, she keeps 'em open whenever she passes out in a Vicodin haze. The Idol producers hired a professional to teach her how to do that, so nobody would know when she blacked out. Simon brought out the Sharp...

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