Everybody Ruined Their Lives Yesterday!

The phrase "I Do" was overused as fuck yesterday, because Carrie Underwears said it to Mike Fisher, Martin Lawrence said it to Daaamn Geeeena Shamicka Gibbs, LaLa Vazquez said it to Carmelo Anthony, Emily Blunt said it to John Krasinski, I said it to the waiter who asked me if I wanted a double dose of whipped cream on my cake and Jennifer Aniston said it to one of her dogs wearing a bow tie and top hat. Everyone fucking queefed it out! I guess July 10th was unofficially International Plastic C...

Read full article Share article