Everyone Got Engaged This Week

The hell? This is not the week for cold bitches who feel a shiver shoot into the satchels of ash in their chests whenever they read about an in-love couple secreting pink hearts out of their pores after getting engaged. Seriously, everyone in Hollywood has gone from putting cock rings on their fuck partners to putting engagement rings on 'em. It's an engagement epidemic! And with New Year's Eve coming, it's going to get worse. Gross. Where are you when we really need you, 201...

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