Get with the programme

You're breaking my arm! You're breaking my fucking arm!" Closing time at the Paradise Inn and a riot has broken out. A dozen policemen are losing their battle to contain the lagered-up lads and bullet-headed locals. Pint glasses rain down, a chair goes through a window, there's blood everywhere. Earlier this evening, nine underage teenagers had walked into the grim Croydon boozer and straight up the patrons' noses: pointing at the woman with the ponytail doing karaoke, snorting cocaine off a cre...

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