I have always compared myself to Madonna

She's the prism through which women and ageing is reflected, but refuses to play by the rulesGod, I am exhausted and I haven't even started. At my age, your knees creak, you feel constantly tired, your features start sliding down your face, you are forever in some souped-up cardy or improbable shrug because of the "arms crisis", and, as if that were not enough, you have to compare yourself to bloomin' Madonna in her bra and knickers. I have always compared myself to her, not because I am an all...

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