Paula Abdul MUST Officiate The Ceremony

Simon Cowell's full-time titty plumper Mezhgan Hussainy has confirmed to Radar that she is engaged to Ellen Degeneres' arch rival. Mezhgan and Simon met while she was doing make-up on American Idol. Mezhgan added that she's already living in Simon's mansion built on broken dreams. Simon's spokeswhore wouldn't confirm Mezhgan's confirmation, but he did say this shit: “They are very suited. She is someone who is independent and says what she thinks and feel...

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