Slurping On Your Soooouuuuuuuuuul

I'll wait here as you lure your soul from the darkest corner of the room after it jumped out of your ass from seeing this picture of Madonna slurping on a martini glass full of the tears of Lady CaCa and the green balls of Guy Ritchie. Madge opened her Instagram account a while ago, but she officially christened it yesterday by posting this terrifying picture of her looking like Mr. Burns as an albino Bettie Page. THOSE DEMON EYES! If you're a dude, then your nutsack probably ripped it...

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