What's Long, Douchey And Full Of Seamen?

John Mayer kicked off his annual Mayercraft Cruise in Long Beach, CA yesterday looking like he wandered in from the set of a 70s fuck flick called The Love Motorboat. John's pussy does look tight, though. However, those shorty shorts are making his thighs look wonky as all fuck! It's the way he's standing, but one looks way bigger than the other. It's like the douchefat from one of his thighs tried to escape and ended up getting stuck in the other. I have to go look in a mirr...

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