"On The Occasion Of Her 31st Birthday"

When it's your birthday, the office manager at your job pulls out a card from a stack of birthday cards they bought on clearance at Big Lots, gets your co-workers to stop playing Solitaire for a second to sign it and then they give it to you with a Zinger from the vending machine and a $5 gift certificate to Gloria Jean's (not even Starbucks!). That's if you're lucky. But if you're Beyonce and it's your second time turning 31, your friends, family, Basement Baby and...

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