A Simple "It's Not True" Would've Worked Too

You know that rumor about how John Mayer and Kristin Calafartmeorwhatever have been licking on each other's vaginas for two years? John Mayer has pissed all over it on his Twitter. Instead of just pulling a Kanye and saying "BITCH BOGUS," John brought the cleverness. You know this gave him a boner. John wrote: "Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman...I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis. I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skit...

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