Because An Orange Is Nature's Ball Gag

Masochist vegans who are members of the We Hate Simon Cowell Facebook group have never been more turned on. Simon Cowell's deflated man tits look like a plate of poorly pounded chicken paillard sloppily breaded in stale rye breadcrumbs, but he's not letting their sad and defeated attitude get to him while he lives the glamorous life on a yacht in St. Barts with his fiancee and ex-girlfriend. While you're in your cubicle eating around the rotten parts of a banana left in the back o...

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