Billy Ray Cyrus Is Going To Be Somebody's Father-In-Law

Pull out the special occasion shopping cart grill (aka the vintage one from Target and not the rusty Piggly Wiggly one), plump up the possums caught in the cage trap last night and stock up on Twinkies (the Twinkies are the penises of pastries) from the Hostess outlet to make a four-tier wedding cake, because the chipmunk princess of the Cyrus clan is getting hitched Gale from The Hunger Games and Thor's brother. As my hair icon Memaw Cyrus poured hillbilly champagne (aka moonshine mixed wi...

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