For A Dumb Person, Jessica Simpson Is Very Smart At Showbusiness

Jessica Simpson turns 32 today and all I want to do is make classic, "is this chicken or fish" jokes. But I won't, because those are so cliche now that it feels like a dream we once had. A dream where Jessica Simpson gave her virginity to her husband Nick Lachey and we witnessed the aftermath on an MTV reality show. There's no way that really happened, right? That Jessica Simpson packaged up her stupidity and sold it to us via a 30 minute reality show that gave new meaning to the word ditz? Oh...

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