Keanu Reeves Can Bust Into The "You Are Not The Father Dance" Now

According to DNA tests, Keanu Reeves is not the father of four grown-ups after all. A permanent resident of Crazy Town (Mayor: Claire Cruise) who goes by the name of Karen Sala filed papers claiming that Keanu's sperm fish humped on her eggs four times. Karen's kids (no relation) are all adults now, but she was still hitting Keanu up for $150,000 in child support retroactive to June 1988 and $3 million a month in spousal support retroactive from November 2006. Karen might have been mar...

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