Oh, Jakey Just Wants Her To Write A Song About Him

To me, Jakey Gyllenhaal is a wholesome 14-year-old white country girl on the inside and a fragile Brawny man on the outside, so this pairing really isn't pulling a WTF out of me. Can't you just picture Jakey and Taylor Swift skipping hand-in-hand down a dirt country road while whistling the melody to some Disney song and waving at the birds in the trees and shit. Then Taylor pulls out her ukulele (or whatever the hell she carries around) and serenades Jakey with a song about how a rain...

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