This week's new singles

Cher Lloyd Swagger Jagger (Syco) Music exec: Ciao. We've got to come up with a chart-topping tune for that girl who didn't win X Factor once.Minion: Sorry boss – you're going to have to be more specific. That's most of the country.Music exec: The one that looks like a photofit of Cheryl Cole based on an unreliable description.Minion: Oh yeah, she did that rapping thing, right?Music exec: Bingo. So I want you to completely rip off Gwen Stefani, but for a bit of a spin, let's go for a proper ...

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