Who's right: Arsequake, Joy Orbison or Norman Jay MBE?

There are more daft DJ names than ever out there in clubland. But are they guarantees of a good time or surefire signifiers of the bedroom tryhard?Punters glanced incredulously towards the decks as the Jam's Thick As Thieves zipped out of the speakers at 45rpm instead of 33. The DJ, boozing from 5pm and unable to converse using anything other than hand gestures, was on whiskey and Coke trying to "straighten up". "Who's this, Kanye West?" one patron smirked. As the DJ drank, for 30 seconds Paul W...

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